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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
The truth is more important than the facts.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
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We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
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I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
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A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
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Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
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Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
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Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
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The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The truth is more important than the facts.
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Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
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Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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